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To do:

The homosexual agenda:

0800 – Breakfast
0900 – Work day begins
1000 – 1st coffee break
1200 – Lunch hour
1210 – Go to local deli
1230 – Plot to convert world to queerness
1300 – Back to work
1500 – Coffee break
1700 – Work ends
1800 – Dinner
1900 – Walk dog
1930 – Scrub kitchen
2000 – Read book
2200 – Bedtime

—with thanks to them.ws

The feminist agenda:

0800 – 0815
Introduction, Opening Remarks
0815 – 0915
Plot to Overthrow World Leadership
0915 – 0930
BREAK – Coffee and donuts
0930 – 1030
Undermine World Religions
1030 – 1200
General Attacks on the Institution of the American Family
1200 – 1300
Catered Lunch and Fashion Show
1300 – 1330
Plot to Remove All Men From The World
1330 – 1400
BREAK – Cake and Champagne
1400 – 1500
Leave Husbands (If Applicable)
1500 – 1530
Kill Children
1530 – 1700
Become Lesbian
Evening Mixer; Open Bar

—with thanks to Monster Island

The fundamentalist agenda:

Five Year Strategic Plan Summary
The social consequences of materialism have been devastating. As symptoms, those consequences are certainly worth treating. However, we are convinced that in order to defeat materialism, we must cut it off at its source. That source is scientific materialism. This is precisely our strategy. If we view the predominant materialistic science as a giant tree, our strategy is intended to function as a “wedge” that, while relatively small, can split the trunk when applied at its weakest points. The very beginning of this strategy, the “thin edge of the wedge,” was Phillip ]ohnson’s critique of Darwinism begun in 1991 in Darwinism on Trial, and continued in Reason in the Balance and Defeating Darwinism by Opening Minds . Michael Behe’s highly successful Darwin’s Black Box followed Johnson’s work. We are building on this momentum, broadening the wedge with a positive scientific alternative to materialistic scientific theories, which has come to be called the theory of intelligent design (ID). Design theory promises to reverse the stifling dominance of the materialist worldview, and to replace it with a science consonant with Christian and theistic convictions.
The Wedge strategy can be divided into three distinct but interdependent phases, which are roughly but not strictly chronological. We believe that, with adequate support, we can accomplish many of the objectives of Phases I and II in the next five years (1999-2003), and begin Phase III (See “Goals/ Five Year Objectives/Activities”).

—with thanks to the Panda’s Thumb

  1. Glenn Peters    Mar 25, 07:22 PM    #
    Man. It looks like if I can sign up for feminism and homosexuality, I can quadruple my daily productivity! AND get donuts!

  2. Bill Humphries    Mar 25, 09:39 PM    #
    Great response to the neo-Stalinist's little "Wedge Project".

    "Intelligent Design" is the Right's Lysenkoism.

  3. Crooked Timber    Mar 26, 08:52 AM    #
    Different agendas
    Read Kip, at Long Story, Short Pier on what gay people, feminists and creationists don’t have in common....

  4. Roxanne    Mar 26, 11:45 AM    #
    Thanks for this. I needed a good chuckle after this oh-so-heavy heavy news week.

  5. Pharyngula    Mar 26, 04:01 PM    #
    I don't have an agenda!
    Read this: the homosexual, feminist, and fundamentalist to-do list. I really feel left out. I've got to come up with some kind of over-arching, dramatic, world-changing goal.

    "Clone army of

  6. miniblog    Mar 29, 04:58 AM    #
    The homosexual, feminist, and fundamentalist to-do list....

  7. Arete    Mar 29, 05:59 PM    #
    it's nice to have a plan
    The homosexualist, feminist and fundamentalist agendas. (via feministe)...

  8. Sheelzebub    Mar 30, 10:03 AM    #
    This is too funny! I propose, though, that the Feminist agenda include a Guiness break. Mmmmm. . .Guiness. . .yummy.

  9. c    Mar 31, 07:28 PM    #

  10. hansgcampbell@comcast.net    Sep 21, 02:20 PM    #

  11. DunneIV -- The Counterculture Doesn't Want To Kill You    Dec 2, 06:10 PM    #
    Gentlemen, Meet Your Dark Ages
    I hate to toot an apocalyptic horn and all, but I've been into this creationism/evolution bullshit a long time. The portents of this are a terrifying glimpse, I fear, of what is yet to come. via Long Story Short Pier...

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