Stupid fucking bigots.

Remember when they told us the ban on “a legal status for relationships of unmarried individuals that intends to approximate the design, qualities, significance, or effect of marriage” in Ohio’s anti–same-sex marriage amendment wouldn’t affect domestic violence protections for unmarried couples? —Turns out they’re as good at crafting amendments as they are at balancing budgets, or running wars. (Or spotting satire. Or plucking beams from their eyes. Or getting ahead without cannibalizing their own. Or anything at all but dazzling a handful of pundits at Beltway cocktail parties. Well, that, and bleeding us all dry.)