God, hes left as on aur oun.
Mission creep.
I need a new word. If it’s war that’s hell, what on earth can we call this that will do it justice?
UMM QASR, Iraq – The US military came up with a solution yesterday for the penniless people of this port town begging for water: Sell it.
Despite general mayhem at distribution points—including knife fights—the Army has struck a hasty agreement with local Iraqis to expedite distribution of water to the roughly 40,000 living here.
Under the deal, the military will provide water free to locals with access to tanker trucks, who then will be allowed to sell the water for a “reasonable” fee.
“We’re permitting them to charge a small fee for water,” said Army Col. David Bassert.
“This provides them with an incentive to hustle and to work,” said Bassert, an assistant commander with the 354th Civil Affairs Brigade.
He said he could not suggest what constitutes a reasonable fee and did not know what the truckers were charging. He said the tradition here of haggling at markets would help the system work.
“People know when they’re being gouged—we’ll deal with it,” Bassert said.
Especially when the largest potential employer is hanging signs like this:
Tucked in the classifieds of national Indian dailies on Wednesday was an advertisement that could further alienate the Muslim community from the United States.
The advertisement calls for applications from “non-Muslims only” for sundry jobs at the US base in northern Kuwait.
The US base “urgently requires” lift operators, store keepers, clerks, typists, security guards and drivers. The advertisement insists that the applicants, besides being non-Muslims, should speak English and be below 35.
Luckily, retired Army Lieutenant General Jay Garner is listening to the British and not the Americans.
Garner sought to gloss over what had become an increasingly angry US-British dispute on the direction and goals of the relief effort. The Americans wanted to jump-start a free-market economy by letting Iraqi contractors sell water at a modest profit to encourage private business in general.
But British officers were exasperated at what they viewed as a heavy-handed and unrealistic American attempt to impose supply-side economic theory on what is essentially a barter economy in the aftermath of dictatorship and war.
“We’re going to build on what the British have done,” Garner said, putting an end to the initial US approach that was enthusiastically outlined Monday by Army Col. David Bassert of the 354th Civil Affairs Brigade.
But I still need that new word. Greedracious? Backstabistick? A thick brown taste in the back of your throat, an acrid tang of decay, like you’re rotting from the inside? Jesus Mary Mother of God, what in the hell are you jumped-up morons thinking?
(Via Nathan Newman, with an assist from Steve Colbert.)
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You saw that Daily Show segment, too, eh? That was a favorite. Colbert is turning into a reporter to turn to. His coverage of anti-war protests was excellent.
Ain't it sad when a satirist is a better journalist than most journalists?
Well, yes. This tactic will obviously get Iraqis to love us during the occupation.
"And for just a 'reasonable fee' that thug will stop squeezing your windpipe shut."
Mmmmmm, dats good supply-side economics.
I'd call the water-selling scheme, "What you sell instead of the bodies of women and girls when those pesky Muslims won't let you have their women and girls to use as a moneymaking venture."
I'd call your emotional state, "A sign that it's time to take at least a 48-hour break from any and all war coverage." Or, if you're insistent on brevity, I'd call it "Proto-Burnout."
I'm funny that way.