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Take that, Massachusetts.

With a two-steps-forward-one-step-back ruling, Oregon has become the first state in the union to recognize same-sex marriages. —Multnomah County Court Judge Frank Bearden ruled as follows:

So Multnomah County must rejoin the rest of the country however temporarily in the 20th century. And there’s a lot of legal dancing to avoid remembering the inherent inequalities of separate-but-equal, whether it’s water fountains or familial compacts. And we’re still waiting for the Oregon Supreme Court to weigh in—there’s many a possible slip yet betwixt this cup and lip. But thousands of same-sex couples were just done right by the state. Congratulations! —You take ’em where you can get ’em. (Me, I got most of this from the One True b!X and Ampersand. While you’re at Alas, by the way, check out this hoot-worthy flip-flop from a foe of same-sex marriage, confronted with a possible legislative solution:

“This is something that should be decided in the courts before it ever comes here,” said Assemblyman Pat Bates, R-Laguna Niguel, who voted no.

(Massachusetts begins wedding same-sex couples on 16 May. Brimstone has yet to fall. Heterosexual marriage is as strong as it ever was. Civilization shows no signs of collapsing. —Over this issue, at least. Hey! Look! Somebody said “Shit!” on television!)

Would the last one out turn off the lights?

No offense intended to Emma, but these are seventeen of the most chilling words I’ve ever read:

Emma, did you see the sample text from the Garfield movie novelization before Amazon took it down?

Though if you scroll upthread a bit, you’ll see Mr. Ford plying what he plies best, so all is perhaps not lost. (The ostensible subject is also worth your while, though its ostensible subject is not, which, I suppose, is the point, really.)

We are all Frank Grimes now.

Grimey.Oh, I, I can’t stand it any longer. This whole country is insane. Insane, I tell you! Daahh! Aaah! I can be crazy too! Look at me, I am a partisan hack, just like the Bush administration! I can obstruct the 9/11 commission and selectively release classified documents to make critics look bad! Give me votes! Ooh, I totally skimp on securing ports and supporting first responders, but nobody minds! I’m secretly plotting a war without telling Congress or the Secretary of State. Support me! Now I’m sending the armed forces into battle with armor they bought on eBay. But it doesn’t matter, because I’m the Bush administration! I don’t need to worry about jobs or the economy or health care, ’cause someone else will suffer. D’oh! D’oh! D’oh! Ha ha! I’m better than okay! I’m the Bush administration! I’m the worst presidency ever! Time to go openly rig the world’s oil market for an October surprise. What’s this? A lazy mediasphere ruled by an embedded punditocracy? Well, I don’t need to worry about the fact that I speak French fluently, because I’m—

Sorry. Something just snapped. (All due apologies to John Swartzwelder, who wrote “Homer’s Enemy.”)